Held Hostage by a Cell Phone

The scariest words you will ever hear in the bathroom is the person in the stall next to you saying "Hello" especially if your stomach is not feeling well and you want to pretend that you are alone. This is what happened to me yesterday. I had been at the library attempting to study for the GRE but mostly emailing friends, reading blogs, and creating playlists for when I actually start the studying process.  But before I get into this story let me tell you a few things...
A couple of weeks ago I had my gall bladder removed, the recovery has not been bad and I have not even missed the organ. That being said, it takes about two months before your digestive system is in tip top working order. This means that at any point in your day you may get hit with the bubble. Nobody dislikes the bubble more than I do. Keep this next informations secret, but I have bathroom issues. I do not like using public bathrooms and if I can avoid it I will.  When I was in high school I used to beg my older sister to take me home so I could use the bathroom in the comfort of my own home. The last few years I have worked in an office building which means no going home when you feel the bubble start to rumble.  I would try to time it right so that the bathroom would be empty, but if it wasn't I had perfected the courtesy flush, to sound out the noise and minimize the air pollution. Now I know you are thinking you need to read another potty story like you need a hole in the head but keep reading because yesterday my stall associate broke all unwritten bathroom rules.

The hostage bathroom

I went into the library bathroom where there were only two stalls and a person was in the one of them. I went into my stall and thought, can I wait this woman out?? Tummy said I couldn't, so I faced the facts that I would have to try for the courtesy flush. No sooner had a finished the first  flush when I heard the words "Hello" from the woman in the other stall. My heart stopped, my mind went all over the place... did this woman just acknowledge my courtesy flush? was she going to try to have a conversation with me? I thought the rule was don't speak and pretend it isn't happening? And then... I heard her start a conversation on the toilet in a public restroom. She was not acknowledging my flushing capabilities, she was answering her cell phone.
Side note: I am not all that sure talking on the phone while on the toilet is a good idea. That being said in a public restroom I am absolutely, one hundred percent against it. You are not that important, hang up the phone.
Once I realized that this woman had decided to catch up with an old friend while on the toilet, I was faced with the an issue I never thought imaginable. Do I continue with my flushing ways? Or wait for her to get off the phone and out of the bathroom. Three minutes of waiting later, I did another flush. My tummy wasn't waiting to find out if cousin Rhonda solved her issues with her man and is going to come to the family party. Yes I listened in... wouldn't you?  Two minutes after that, she flushed, left the stall, and washed her hands. I thought my hostage situation was over. Oh how wrong I was! She continued to talk on her cell phone right there in the bathroom., she was not going to leave.  It was then I knew I had to take drastic measures to free myself from my captor. I am not sure if it was the noise or the air pollution but she finally left the bathroom.... I was relieved, I was happy, I had privacy... but then I was a little sad, how was I ever going to find out what happened with cousin Rhonda? Maybe I shouldn't have bombed her out so soon...
I think I might have stockholm syndrome.