Open up Mouth insert Foot Feast...

There are times in life when you open your mouth only to insert your foot and start to eat the feast of regret. This has happened to me many times because I tend to have a very small filter on what I think and what I say. This filter tends to thin depending on my mood, the time of the month, or who I am dealing with... so lets just say the filter is very arbitrary.  I come by this rightfully, I am not the only person in my family that has a tendency to say what we think without actually involving the act of thinking.
For example, my older sister likes say things to people with a good intent but when the words come out the positive meaning is completely lost.  I can distinctly remember years ago going to a wedding with Steph we were in line congratulating the bride and groom on their recent marriage.  I think Steph had her oldest daughter with her and the bride was saying how pretty Sammy was.  It was at this moment that Stephanie said, 'two plain looking people usually make the prettiest babies (pause) your babies are going to be super pretty'.  Now a good sister would get Steph out of the situation as fast as possible. But as you can imagine I am not a good sister. So instead, I started laughing and said 'you just told her she was plain looking on her wedding day, how rude are you?' Steph sputtered yet continued to hold her ground, 'yes but they will have pretty babies'.
Side note: In my family we are loud (already been established) but we are also wicked opinionated. If you are to get us around a table the volume of the conversation goes up in direct proportion to the argument taking place. I can remember one time my brother Dave convinced Steph and I to run a half marathon in Moab, Utah. He said it was all down hill through the canyon. As I was running up the hill in the canyon I thought 'down in my butt'. Fast forward to a Sunday dinner where I told Dave it was all up hill. Back and forth we went getting louder and louder.  The argument never ceased but we both walked away thinking we had one the debate. To this day Dave claims it to be down hill and I know it to be uphill.
I share this side note so you can understand why Stephanie did not back track out of her statement. To her it was a true statement and a blessing to have pretty babies. Regardless of the fact that on the most important day of a girls life (or so I have been told) a random friend called the bride plain looking.
But do not think that Steph is the only random one among my family. I have been caught asking the not pregnant girl when she is due. Or upon hearing that one of my friends is married saying out loud 'how is this possible she got married and I do not even have a date?' This would not have been so bad but the friend was right next to me.  One of the worst times was when I said to a guy 'You need to stop talking, I am really bored right now and want to talk about me'. This would not have been so bad if it hadn't been a date. Also if he hadn't continued to talk about whatever he was talking about... yeah, I know I did not even get a word in edgewise if you can believe it. I know you can't believe it but you should, it is true.
So fast forward to Saturday morning. So I can share with you the most mortifying moment of my life. Ok that is overtly dramatic but it stung my pride so I can allow for a little literary license. My nephew Lucas and his dad (my younger brother Dave) had decided to participate in a mini-triathlon last Saturday morning. Lucas had done the swimming part and had moved on to the bicycle portion for he race. But Dave was about to get into the water. I was standing there with my five year old nephew Tobin waiting to cheer on Dave. When a nice lady walked up to me, here is how the conversation went:

My mom laughing at me being called a Grandma

Her: Oh you must be Tobin's Grandma
Me: Uh No
Her: Oh you aren't his Grandma?
Me: No I am his Aunt, Dave's sister
Her: Really? It's just that Dave is so young
Me: Huh
Her: Oh I guess that is not a compliment to be called his Grandma
Me: (nothing I just looked at the woman what do you say to that? I am only 20 months older than my younger brother, if he is so young what am I??  I think I am going to get more Botox because apparently I am looking like his mother)
This is when my sister-in-law Natalie was kind enough to jump in and introduce me and point out the real Grandma in the situation. A few minutes later I told the story to my mom and while she and I laughed about it she said the following 'well, you don't have any make up on and your hair is pulled back so I can see where she is coming from' My response was 'seriously, you are going to say that to me? Do you like to kick me when I am down?' Back and forth my mom and I went laughing and getting louder this is prime joke opportunity and in my family we don't pass that up.
So next time you hear someone say something that just should have been kept in the space between their ears. Do not think it to be tough love or just an honest answer. Recognize it for what it really is someone who opened up their mouth to have the pleasure of gnawing on their foot. That is a tasty treat in my family.