New York...my kind of town..

A little over eleven years ago my sister-in-laws sister Andrea asked me if I wanted to go to New York City with her. Free room, free board, free broadway shows and all I really had to pay for was my plane ticket and whatever I wanted to buy when I was in the city. Who turns this down?? Not I say the country mouse... or city mouse... very confusing.  It was an awesome trip we saw like eight broadways shows, I went to some of my favorite museums, and picked out my ultimate ring at Tiffany's (princess cut solitaire diamond on white gold... I will let the man chose the size because he should have some say right? but note to him, bigger is always better in this situation) I was convinced at the time that I was in love with a man named Steve who was a firefighter... I am sucker for a boy in uniform...I felt he would be the one to buy me the Tiffany diamond.

Side note: I admired the firefighter from afar and told others often of my infatuation. I cut his hair and he took me out to dinner. He drove a huge truck that I had to take a running jump to get into... but alas, one day he stood me up... so I did what every normal girl would do, I taunted him and told him that his favorite hair gel was found at the local Walmart...three Walmart's later he was unable to find the hair gel and I was forced to admit 'oops my bad' not available for purchase for non hairdressers. After that he was less attractive and I was not his favorite hair girl anymore. There were a couple of other things I did but I am not prepared to admit them to the general public.
Anyways back to the city of the apple. Andrea and I had a great time up until someone decided it was a good idea to fly planes into the buildings connected to our hotel.
Another side note: Apparently these men flew the plane into buildings so they could be with 72 virgins. I have to agree with Dennis Miller that probably somewhere around the 14th or 15th virgin you are looking for a professional.  But my only thought is why 72?  Why not more? If you are going to mess me up emotionally and physically shouldn't you be aiming for a higher purpose than a few virgins??
One more side note: I have heard of some statistic which is out in the world saying you are more likely to be in a terrorist attack then get married after 35, my question to that is; what are the statistics to someone who has been in a terrorist and is single over 35? Do my odds go up or down on landing a man? I can tell you this I am not looking for 72 virgin men... one seems like a lot of work let alone entering the double digits of men. What I would really not like is for more than one man to ask me the question "Can you cook at all?" the answer will always be no, leave me alone.
Ok so Andrea and I survived the attack and each of us have our own idioms because of our adventure. But a decade later we have learned to cope and so when Andrea asked me if I wanted to take a trip to New York this September I said what anyone would say... when do we fly out?

Pizza Squares

Luckily we broke the terrorist streak and had a good time in New York. We got pizza at some sicilian pizzeria in Brooklyn where you have to ask for it a certain way or you get yelled at.. kind of like Seinfeld's soup nazi... Andrea walked me through the procedure to ask for a square not a slice... but I froze under the pressure and said the wrong thing. I have never been yelled at before because I  ordered wrong.. I wanted to take a picture of the guy but I was kind of afraid of the words I would hear if I asked him to pose for my blog. So I took a picture of the pizza instead.
We stayed at a no-tell motel called the best western president's or something... it is right off of 48th and 8th... but note to self do not stay here. The hallways look like a cross between a brothel and the Shinning. I kept waiting to see a kid on a bicycle screaming "Redrum Redrum".  Luckily no one came at us with a knife or a proposition so we survived the weirdest motel in the world.
We saw a bunch of broadway shows and a few off broadway shows. The first night we went to a musical called "Silence!" It was a spoof on the movie Silence of the Lambs... my only thought is that I wish it had been a silent musical because that would have been an improvement on what we heard and saw. It was an hour and a half of my life I will never get back.

The shinning hotel hallway

It was an adventure that did not entail taking extra sleeping pills for the rest of my life which is a big plus. And even though I did not get a chance to visit my Tiffany's diamond I know it is still there patiently waiting for me. So now all I have to do is find a man to buy it for me...on second thought, I think I will just visit it often... good excuse to go back to my city.